The Island at the End of the World

Where to go after a week in Pichilemu, Chile? Why not one of the most remote populated places on earth - Rapa Nui. Never heard of Rapa Nui? That's probably because it was known as Easter Island until the name was changed by Chilean law in 2019. At 3,512 miles from the nearest continent, it's a looooong way away. Nonetheless, we figured that if we were already in Santiago (the only real air connection to the island), it'd never be easier to visit than now. So, off we went to spend a week on Rapa Nui with its fabled Moai.

Now here's the thing you need to know about spending a week on Rapa Nui: you don't need to spend a week there. We spent a week because the airfare was cheaper that way, but in the end that was about double what we needed. It turned out to be a hard island to hang out on because you can't actually go much of anywhere without a guide, and many of the sites you can only go to once even with a guide. Still, we had a fantastic time seeing the Moai.

There's a lot of theories about what happened on the island, what the Moai were all about, and how the civilization met its end. A popular theory was that the islanders overtaxed the limited resources of the island and this led to eventual environmental collapse. This theory was much popularized by Jared Diamond in his book Collapse, though that theory has plenty of naysayers. Ultimately, nobody really knows. The Moai stand in eternal silence with their backs forever turned to the sea, and they won't be sharing their story.

Still, this lack of information didn't stop our tour guide from weaving together a colorful story of palace intrigue, interclan warfare, and environmental collapse. The story was lengthy (told over the course of several days), detailed, and almost certainly false. But it was a good yarn nonetheless. If nothing else, it gave us the opportunity to assign the boys reading from other sources and to have conversations about not believing everything you hear, as well as comparing multiple sources to come to your own conclusions (perhaps relevant to evaluating claims by politicians?).

Besides seeing the Moai, we spent one day renting bikes and riding around (which was a lot of fun) and one day renting a car to circumnavigate the island and go to the beach. Plus, the boys got to try scuba diving (more to come)!

Our accommodations will likely (hopefully) go down as the "most misrepresented lodging of the trip." The official description included everything from a spa to a suit press. The reality was that the owner looked at us like we were crazy when we asked for towels and said, "Towels? We don't have towels!" But it did have an empty water jug we could use as an ashtray for our evening cigarettes, so it wasn't all bad. Ultimately, it was amazing to see the Moai and to visit such a remote place, but it was also nice to get moving again.

Fallen Moai - one face-down and broken with the red topknot rolled away, one facing to the sky.

This small ofshore island was the sight for the "birdman" competition. Annually for 200 years, each clan would send one young man to compete. The objective was to swim to the island then return with a bird egg. The winner's clan ruled the island for the next year. Sound like a dysfunctional system of governance? Perhaps, but take a look at our politics before you get too high and mighty.

Oh, and as for our "loose with the truth" tour guide? Perhaps his best yarn was about the first king. He ruled from the south side of the island. He was buried on the north side and didn't get commemorated by a Moa until four generations after his death. His wife, on the other hand, remained on the south side and got her Moa immediately after passing (the only known female Moa). So apparently, she kicked him out of the house. Let this be a lesson - glory in this life is fleeting, even if you are a king. But if you piss off your wife, tour guides will still be telling the tale centuries after your death. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - even on the island at the end of the world.

Quotable quotes from Rapa Nui:

Tim: We should walk this way. There's churros just in case we don't find ice cream.

Carol: Go run three laps around Jesus. He will warm you up. (to a cold Tim after his scuba dive)

Neil: We even managed to bicker under water! (after their scuba dive)

Neil: It doesn't matter if its true as long as it's funny.

Neil: I vote that we seek shelter (from the storm) in a dessert shop.

Tim: Man, the chickens own this island! They run across the road. They sit on the flower pots. Whatever they want.