The Land of Ice and Stone

Chile is the world's longest country at 2,600 miles, but it's awfully narrow at only about a hundred miles wide. Given that we landed in Santiago in about the middle, that pretty much left us only the choice to go up or down. We debated. To the north was the Atacama, one of the driest places on earth. And to the south...pretty much the opposite of that. South we went! We took a (mildly) ill-fated stop in Pucon, then on down to the end of the line: Puerto Natales and Torres Del Paine. It's a harsh land down there, and in many ways tough for life to find a way to cling to existence, but we were overwhelmed by the variety and volume of life that we found.

After landing, we made a quick grocery run and filled up the extra gas tank the car rental company provided - a sure sign that we were headed out of the civilized world. There would be no venti-double-shot-no-whip-pumpkin-spice-lattes in our near future). All our preparations were rushed, though, as time waits for no man and that includes eclipses. We were extraordinarily lucky to land three hours before the annular eclipse. Who wants to spend an eclipse in a grocery store? What's an annular eclipse? Well, it turns out that the moon's orbit around the earth is slightly elliptical (varying about 13% from its closest to furthest point). When the moon is close you get a total eclipse, but when it's far it doesn't quite cover the sun. This leads to a small rim of sun around the moon, the so-called "ring of fire." In our case, we were a bit too far south and were at 87% coverage. All these valuable facts were conveyed to the boys in a class Carol gave them in advance. Aren't you glad you won't have to Google it yourself?

In our case, the middle left sun is what we got to see.

After a rushed grocery run and a crepe at the cafe across the road, away we went. It was a gloomy, overcast day and we set out pretty sure we weren't going to get to see it as we could barely spot where the sun was through the clouds. Then, like a mirage, up ahead we saw a bright spot on the road. It was a hole in the clouds and away we raced. We made it there barely 5 minutes before the eclipse and pulled over to the side of the road. As the eclipse was annular rather than full, and we were at 87%, we still needed eclipse glasses which "Carol the Planner" had foreseen and packed all the way from Grand Junction.

I had taken screenshots from a website with the eclipse timeline for where we were (who knew there were such websites?) and as we raced north Carol kept track of the eclipse's count down.

Landing in the sunny gap in the clouds with minutes to spare, we threw on our eclipse glasses and took in the sight. The clouds moved back over the sun shortly after and we were back on our way...

Day one in Torres Del Paine was certainly one to remember. It was pretty windy (by Colorado standards) when we got there. By the time we got to the first trailhead, there was a ranger by the gate letting us know that trails were closed, which they do at winds of 50 mph or more. We thought it silly that you can't even walk down a windy trail. So we drove off to check out a nearby viewpoint instead and, as it turned out, to receive our daily dose of humility. Neil and I got out of the car and immediately Neil's sunglasses, then my actual glasses, took flight in the deafening wind. We briefly gave chase, but then turned back quickly when we realized that it was a lost cause. We were immediately knocked over several times by the wind, and I found myself being blown skating across the dirt lot while still standing, skittering across the rocks. In the end, we both had to crab walk backwards back across the parking lot to the car, keeping our faces away from the relentless torrent of flying gravel. Even with that, it was a painful sandblasting to all exposed skin. It took us 15 minutes to claw our way 50' across the parking lot, unable to get to our feet until the last few steps in the wind shadow of the car. You could say that we had been warned. Not only by the ranger, but by the car rental guy who said "be sure to always park the car facing into the wind, so the wind won't rip the doors off the car." But it would have been much less exciting to "listen" to the "experts." Still, it wasn't all bad. Although my glasses were never seen again, Neil found a brand new pair of $250 Oakley sunglasses from a previous victim of the wind.

With that misadventure complete, we did a slow and cautious drive around, then went to the Grey Hotel at the base of the Grey Glacier to have a rest inside and lick our wounds while the boys went "coat flying" in the wind.

Day two proved an adventure of a different sort. I was the only one wanting to do the hike to the base of the Torres Del Paine, so Carol and the boys took me out to the trailhead. Along the way Neil suddenly shouted "mountain lion!" and sure enough - there was a lion sauntering along just above the road. We got out and (from a distance) watched the big cat casually saunter away. I've watched diligently for a mountain lion my whole adult life and had never seen one. I then proceeded to have an epic hike, while the rest of the gang had a great time of their own spotting innumerable guanaco and, unbelievably, a second mountain lion. Apparently, the region has one of the highest densities in the world due to the excellent dining on guanaco.

Guanaco, wild ancestor to the domestic llama and the meal of choice for Patagonian mountain lion.

When we first saw Guanaco on a menu, we figured it was a tourist meal, but it turns out that Argentinians love it. Guanaco Pizza. Guanaco ravioli. If you can dream it, you can eat it.

The day's second lion

Day three was more tame but no less lovely on a great ferry ride across one of the lakes, then a hike along the base of Torre Grande.

Our final day was spent on our way back to Puerto Natales, with a stop at the Milodon Caves - a very important prehistoric site and the home of ancient giant sloths (Milodons). With that, we called it a wrap on our time in Chile and prepared for our bus to Argentina (being sure to spend our last Chilean pesos on Chilean wine. It was the fiscally responsible choice).

There were many things we would miss about Chile - kind people, amazing landscapes, and more. One thing we wouldn't miss was Chilean Spanish. Known as one of the toughest Spanish dialects in the world to understand, they speak a mile a minute, only say half the word, have a dense accent, and load their conversations with slang and colloquialisms. As Neil put it, "they speak like auctioneers with marbles in their mouths." Plus, the national "sport" is making fun of people. I'm fine with being made fun of, but if you are going to make fun of me, at least do me the courtesy of slowing down and enunciating.

Notable Quotables from Torres Del Paine:

Carol: I decided that if I couldn't stand up without holding on to the car [due to extreme wind] I probably shouldn't let Tim out or we might not see him again.

Hotel owner: Where did your kids learn Spanish? They have a Mexican accent.

Carol: Tim! Don't meep the guanacos! They don't like it.

Carol: Sometimes it's not important to like your food.